The feeling of invisibility is reported by some people following abandonment - sexually, romantically and totally disconnected from everyone. When someone chooses to break off a relationship, we may well question our ability to attract love.

The child within says nobody loves me - I’m not good enough. I’m not special enough.” These feelings hark back to the times we had trouble winning our parents’ love and attention.

These experiences may have been taken to heart, developing ingrained doubts about whether you could attract and hold the love and attention of another. My experience is that it takes time and concentration to separate from taking total blame for a relationship break up /abandonment.

Each partner in any relationship is responsible for their 50% contribution to the 100% of a relationship. To take on the other person’s share is another way of degrading yourself.

As time goes on, taking a step back and only owning what is our contribution is a healthy acknowledgment of the self and assists in taking back our personal power.

It’s important to surround yourself after a breakup or bereavement with caring, loving nurturing and affectionate friends and seek out life affirming, positive activities.

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